butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
