we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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