You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
