ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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