I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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