Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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