she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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