in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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