I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
