...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize