I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
