I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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