mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
