I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Rumble strips road head = magical
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
