i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Randomize
