Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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