Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
