I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
