i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
