dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
