And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
