kristin has been a bad kristin
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Randomize
