TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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