super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
