it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
