go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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