he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
