Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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