Having a random hookup so left but love u
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
