Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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