oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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