I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
