Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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