It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
