Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
