We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
