To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
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