can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
pray to the hookup gods
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
