The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize