His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
