He disabled his match.com account in front of me
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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