What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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