So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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