Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
