you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
