if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
