yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
