i barfeds in our rink
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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