what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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