My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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