It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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